“No one has greater love than the one who lays down his life for his friends”
I remember that as a child I wanted to be many things; footballer, firefighter, wrestler, police officer, doctor, detective, actor; in short, I think I wanted to be everything… but I never recall wanting to be a priest.
Family Environment
I was born in Guadalajara, Mexico, into a Catholic family. From a young age, I was used to Sundays being the day to go to Mass and then spend time with my entire family at my grandparents’ house, something I enjoyed very much because I could spend a lot of time with my cousins and play all kinds of mischief at grandma’s house.
From a young age, I learned a lot from my parents and sisters. My dad has always been an example of responsibility, hard work, order, punctuality, and dedication to his family; my mom, a great example of joy, simplicity, authenticity, charity, and extraordinary piety. My sisters have also been a great example with their many virtues.
This was the fertile ground where Jesus had wanted to sow the seed of my vocation.
In Search of Happiness… in the Wrong Places
I was always known as a “happy child”. From a young age, I was a very sociable person who liked to be surrounded by friends, and as I grew older, this became the center of my life to the point of polarizing everything. Even in middle school, “being happy” started to translate into “being content”, “having fun”, “not suffering”, “enjoying each day to the fullest”.
From ages 15 to 19, my life could be summarized in this phrase: “You only have one life to live, enjoy it as much as you can with all kinds of pleasures, squeeze every last drop… don’t worry about tomorrow, enjoy tonight”. Unknowingly, I was falling into a pit that was becoming darker and darker. I sought love in pleasure, joy in parties and drunkenness, friendship in meeting many people, authenticity in dressing well and having a nice car, success in money… I can’t deny that for a couple of years I had a “great time”. My friends and I went out almost every day, weekends started on Wednesday and ended on Sunday. My high school years flew by with parties, beach trips, alcohol, “girlfriends”, and lots of fun…
The 3 a.m. Crises
This is how my high school years went, and to be honest, I thought I could keep up that pace all my life because isn’t that what should make us happy?… However, I couldn’t deny the reality: “when you come back from the party and the lights go out, the music stops, friends disappear, and alcohol begins to take its toll; there, alone in your bed, at 3 a.m., tears and despair, you ask yourself: what’s next? what else is there? why don’t I feel happy?…
I remember that, during these long nights of crisis, I would go out to my balcony with a cigarette in hand, play some music to calm myself, and “reflect on life”. What was I doing with my life? I always dreamed of being a successful, rich, famous person, but deep in my heart, there was an even bigger dream: to have a beautiful family. Every night, with tears in my eyes, I thought I was not sowing good seeds and therefore could never harvest good fruits.
In the midst of these crises, Jesus decided to intervene directly and become the protagonist of my life.
After many arguments with my dad and many tears shed by my mom because of the dissolute life I was leading, my parents decided to take action and one day, upon returning home, they called me to “talk”. In reality, it was not a conversation but an ultimatum. It was very simple: they had already decided that I would go on a mission trip during Holy Week and offered me two options: Do it with them as a family or only with other young people. I didn’t want to do either, as I already had plans for Holy Week at the beach with my friends, but seeing that I had no choice, I chose the “lesser evil”: to go with other young people.
I Found the Joy I Was Looking for in Giving Myself to Others
That trip changed my life forever. The longings and desires of my entire life were fulfilled in the smallest and poorest place, with the simplest and humblest people. These people taught me that true happiness does not consist in possessing, but in giving; that true wealth does not consist in having everything, but in needing nothing; that one cannot find true love by giving in to passions and desires for everyone, but through commitment and sacrifice for the beloved; that true friendship is not the result of two people sharing the same ideas, but of two people capable of sacrificing their own opinions and ideas to make the other happy; that in life, it’s not about making others accept you, but accepting others as they are; that true peace does not come as a result of what we have achieved, but as a result of what we have chosen…
Seeking Love, I Encountered The Love .
After that mission experience, I knew my life could not stay the same; I had to make a radical change. After finishing my first year of university, I decided to dedicate a year of my life as a collaborator in Regnum Christi. This decision would change my life forever…
During my year as a collaborator, I received many blessings, discovered that I was very happy dedicating my time to others, learned to have a true friendship with Christ and to love prayer, but the greatest grace I received was meeting a woman who taught me to love truly, showed me that true love seeks not personal satisfaction but the holiness of the loved one, taught me that true love knows how to wait and be patient, and showed me that God is above all human love and, above all, that a man must make himself worthy of a woman’s gift through his sacrifice and donation to her. “Never ask God for a woman until you prove that you are a man”
Everything was going well; my life seemed to be heading in the right direction, I had everything I had dreamed of: I had met Christ, I was happy to give myself to others, I had a wonderful girlfriend, I was ready to finish my year as a collaborator and return to university, in short, I was already living the life I had dreamed of. It was at that moment, when I thought I had already reached the highest level of happiness, that Jesus made His invitation to follow Him only to Him, in a total way, I constantly heard His voice telling me “leave everything, then come and follow me” …
The Call: “You did not choose me, I chose you”
It was in a moment of intimacy with Jesus, a long night full of tears, in the small chapel of my community, when I asked Him: – “Why, Lord? I don’t understand anything, none of this you ask of me makes sense, I have already given you a year of my life and I want to serve you for the rest of my life, but not in that way, not as a priest. Besides, you were the one who made me fall so in love with my girlfriend, since you yourself sent me to this city. You put her in my path, I love her, and now you want me to renounce her love? NO, I can’t”. Thus, with tears in my eyes, I kept giving my reasons why I couldn’t be a priest, but on the other hand, I felt a strong desire to do only HIS will.
After a few hours, Jesus responded to my questions. It’s hard to describe exactly how, but inside me, I heard a response that filled my heart with peace; it was like hearing a friend speak directly and frankly. I asked why, and Jesus answered: – “Gus, I love you more than anyone in this world and I have called you to be only mine since eternity, but it was necessary to prepare your heart. Your girlfriend has been a gift for you, which I myself gave you because before her, you had never loved anyone, and a priest is a person consecrated to love. I put her in your path because it was necessary for you to learn to love someone you can see, feel, and touch; so that you could love me for the rest of your life, whom, for now, you cannot see or touch. And don’t think I ask you to renounce loving her, on the contrary, I ask you to love her in an even more perfect way, I ask you to offer her to me and to consecrate yourself for her and for everyone, “no one has greater love than the one who lays down his life for his friends”.
After that personal encounter with Jesus, everything was clear; He was asking me to be only His and wanted me to give myself to everyone in a total way. The priest is not called to renounce human love, but to live it in fullness; he is called to love God above all things and to love creatures for love of God.
I have been a Legionary for 12 years, and each year has been better than the previous one. I have had moments of struggle, fatigue, weakness, and even frustration, but amid difficulties, I have always felt great joy and immense peace knowing that God has looked at me with mercy and has chosen me, the most unworthy of all, to be only His and serve Him in this life.
When God calls you, you will never find total certainty; only love will guide you toward peace within uncertainty.
