You called me to walk through life with You!

It all started when I heard the lyrics that said, “one day, by the seashore, a young Galilean appeared, no one could imagine that someone could love the way he loved…” I only remember that I began to talk to Jesus about the lyrics of that song, and my heart was filled with desires to answer this call. It seemed as if my story would at some point enter into the recitation of the famous song.

THE FIRST VERSES

The call of God is always very personal and intimate. Only the individual knows how that moment or those moments when the voice of the Beloved began to sound in their heart happened. Therefore, like all profound experiences, it is difficult to express in just a few lines.

I can confidently say that I grew up in a privileged family. The inheritance of faith comes from my Italian great-grandparents, which I saw reflected in my grandmothers’ religiosity. By a mystery of God, this faith was impressed upon me more strongly in my parents, despite all my more than 20 uncles receiving the same religious encouragement. So, together with my siblings, we were nurtured by a faith lived by my parents. I delight in the memories of the youth group that my parents led, a group in which I learned my first religious and charismatic songs. It was here that the desire to learn to play an instrument was born in me.

Another pleasant memory imprinted in my mind that was shaping my calling is those afternoons when my sister Jessica and I were returning from school, and as we got off the bus, I would start to hear from the gate the record of Father Zezinho, a pioneer among priest-musicians in Brazil. That sound was associated with preparing dinner, as with that background music, my mother set the table. It was on one of those afternoons, at just 6 years old, after hearing the song “A Young Galilean,” that I first thought: “I will learn to play the guitar and become a priest like Father Zezinho.”

THE NEXT VERSE

During childhood, a major change marked my plans. Our family moved out of the family’s village and we went to live on the other side of the city. In this new home, I experienced events that shaped my personality. First, because I formed strong friendships. We did everything together, from being altar servers to a childhood soccer team, and in adolescence, we went from the youth group to a rock band. I am only grateful to my friends and catechists for that period, as they were fundamental to persevering in faith.

During catechism, I discreetly started to be an altar server among the numerous group of Salesian priests. But after a few months, I felt called to serve not only on Sundays but also on Saturdays and some weekday Masses. That enthusiasm was broken when the religious had to leave the parish. I liked the priests very much, but I didn’t stop to consider the possibility of pursuing a religious life.

At age 10, I received a guitar. I first learned to play at Masses, then I started to get to know Legião Urbana, and my musical interests shifted in that direction. The childhood idea of imitating Father Zezinho transformed into a project of becoming a new Dado Villa-Lobos.

At 15, I no longer thought about that conversation with Jesus from when I was a child. I was at the age to go out, seek girls, play guitar, and football. Faith began to be lived externally, as a commitment, but without life. I played at Masses and in the youth group. It seemed that by doing this, I was giving God His place in my life. I was a good young man, after all. Things started to change when, halfway through high school, two Legionary brothers of Christ came to my house. As always, their formal appearance made a strong impression on me. They came with a friend who decided to do a discernment retreat, and this friend invited me to join. I ended up accepting to please my friend and to support his vocational journey.

CHORUS

For the first time, I silenced the external noise and realized that there was also the possibility of silencing the inner noises. That retreat was a cold shower. I made a thorough examination of conscience and asked Jesus: “Tell me, what do you want from me?” I shouldn’t have asked that question! I returned home different. I was leaving with a friend, and she told me something had happened, but I didn’t want to tell her what was really going on.

In the following months, I went on missions with Youth Missionary and did two other retreats. At the end of the year, the Legionary brothers came home with an invitation to the Candidate program. But I wasn’t ready; I said I didn’t want to go. To my surprise and that of my parents, my brother asked if he could go in my place. At the start of the following year, Matheus began his journey in the Apostolic of Arujá.

All that year was a tremendous internal pressure I placed on myself. I felt I should have said yes. During this time, I was involved with Regnum Christi, going on missions, retreats, and meetings. That friend who invited me to the first retreat returned from seminary after a period of experience, and that made me think that if I said yes, I would end up like him.

I was finishing the last year before university. I didn’t have a clear idea of what I wanted. At work, I was respected and called “priest.” The girl I was with told me I returned from Arujá with shining eyes and should be in my brother’s place. So I went on Missions. During adoration, while praying and listening to the music I had played so many times, for the first time, the lyrics challenged me: “You called me to walk in life with You. I decided forever to follow, not to turn back. You put a fire in my chest…” The next day, during a visit, a lady from the house told me I should be a priest because I had helped her a lot. When I arrived, I went straight to talk to my spiritual director; I still lacked generosity, so I said I felt God was calling me to be a collaborator for a year. He advised me to be honest with God and that in January I would start the introductory course for the novitiate.

GRAND FINALE

After great trials, because it’s only when you say yes that temptations seem to turn into real possibilities, I began this path with the certainty of a calling, but also with awareness of my lack of generosity.

After more than sixteen years wearing this uniform, having gone through many moments of light and shadow, finally arrives the day of the great concert. I won’t play here, but I will be the instrument for God’s hand to make some chord, even if it’s secondhand. I hope never to lose the tone of God’s grace and that He always leads me to sing in difficulty: “I thought many times of silencing and not even responding. I thought of fleeing, hiding, going far from You. But Your strength prevailed, and I was seduced. It’s hard now to live without missing You!”

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Father Jefferson Bartipaia, LC was born in Vinhedo, São Paulo, on February 13, 1985. After participating in the youth pastoral group of his parish, he joined the Regnum Christi movement in 2001 and was part of the Itu-Jundiaí youth section. In 2003, he entered the Legionaries of Christ novitiate in Arujá, São Paulo. He took religious vows in 2005 and soon moved to Salamanca, Spain, where he studied Classical Humanities. In 2006, he began a bachelor’s degree in philosophy at Ateneo Regina Apostolorum in Rome but interrupted his studies to work for three years as a formator at the Vocational Center in Guadalajara, Mexico. In 2010, he returned to Rome to complete his bachelor’s and pursue a master’s in philosophy. He took perpetual vows on February 20, 2011. In 2013, he began studying theology. He paused his studies to collaborate as a formator at the Vocational Center in Curitiba. Returning to Rome, he completed his studies between 2015-2017. He currently collaborates at the Parish of Santa Edwiges in São Paulo.